So as I was busy at work (sort of) I saw on Facebook that my SIL had made these cute little Mind Jars for her kids...jars filled with water, glitter and glitter glue and it got me thinking...#1 - I totally need to make some of these for my little man since they are supposed to be awesome for calming the minds of children when they may be afraid, anxious or just having a rough day and need a distraction to zone out to...and #2, and most importantly, just because I don't have the opportunity to be at home with my kids on a full time basis doesn't mean that I still can't do these fabulous little crafts with them!
It's easy to get caught up in the "Life is crazy", "I'm too busy", "Must be nice to be able to do that" type of thinking, but as I learned at my last therapy session - Your feelings affect how you think which in turn controls how you behave. So, even though you can't necessarily control how you feel about something, you can certainly change how you think about these feelings and behave in a positive way.
Still with me?? Ok, so instead of me settling into the resentful feelings of "well, I'm not a stay at home mom so there's no possible way I could do that stuff", I had a LIGHT BULB moment and have decided to pick one SIMPLE craft that I can do each week with my kids. Not one a day or one an hour or anything ridiculously overwhelming like that, but something attainable that will help break up the weekly routine of school, work, repeat...
Enter Dollarama...we all love this store...it's amazing how much stuff you can buy for super duper cheap. So off my friend Tacy and I went on our lunch hour to make the most of it in the short time we had. I picked up enough supplies to complete 3 separate crafts with my kids and I can't wait to start!
The plan was to do the Mind Jars tonight but we had Halloween costumes to buy and figured since we are all under a severe snow warning I should probably get boots for the little 2. Needless to say, we didn't get back home until late so the jars will have to wait until tomorrow after work and before Parent Teacher interviews...oh the fun never ends!!
Crafting pics to follow when they are completed :)
Thanks for joining me!
Monday, October 22, 2012
Thursday, October 11, 2012
Kickboxing - Week 1
Ok, so keeping with the fitness regime that I have been on lately (except for this week...sshhh, darn Girl Guide cookies) a friend of mine and I joined kick boxing. I've always wanted to try it so when a lovely lady I was in a wedding with this summer mentioned she was going I looked into it. No time like the present right?? Right! So, I roped a friend of mine into joining me and tonight was the night we started.
This is how it went...we walk into the place, not knowing what to expect really. Then we see the "returning girls" that are already wrapping their hands and wrists and making it look easy...Meredith and I fully admit to eachother that we are kinda scared for the class but looking forward to it nonetheless since we are wanting something to kick our butts into shape!
Enter the room...get said wraps and attempt to wrap our hands and wrists...and when I say ATTEMPT I truly mean that in every sense of the word...but there's an online video that we have for homework over the next week so I am confident that we will conquer the wrapping technique sooner rather than later.
As we are punching and kicking we are quickly realizing that we might not be able to lift our legs or arms in the morning...sweating profusely was an understatement. As I was trying to be a good little blocker pad holder for my friend as she did her large amount of kicks I start feeling like garbage...my hearing starts to diminish, I get all clammy and almost felt like I was going to pass out. I don't know if it was the heat in the room or the half a box of cookies that I had consumed that were now making me feel horrid but wow, I had to leave the room and get fresh air. Once I splashed some cold water on my face and sat for a few minutes I was golden but man I have never felt like that before...talk about epic fail for my first kickboxing class :(
Thankfully I was with a very understanding, fabulous friend who made me feel like less of a moron for almost biting it in the middle of the class...hahaha, that would have been comical.
At the end we felt great and were super proud of ourselves for doing it and we are pretty sure we are going to love it so it was a success!!! But ask me tomorrow if I still feel this way if I can't move my body ;)
Next week...more water, way, way less cookies (yikes!)
This is how it went...we walk into the place, not knowing what to expect really. Then we see the "returning girls" that are already wrapping their hands and wrists and making it look easy...Meredith and I fully admit to eachother that we are kinda scared for the class but looking forward to it nonetheless since we are wanting something to kick our butts into shape!
Enter the room...get said wraps and attempt to wrap our hands and wrists...and when I say ATTEMPT I truly mean that in every sense of the word...but there's an online video that we have for homework over the next week so I am confident that we will conquer the wrapping technique sooner rather than later.
As we are punching and kicking we are quickly realizing that we might not be able to lift our legs or arms in the morning...sweating profusely was an understatement. As I was trying to be a good little blocker pad holder for my friend as she did her large amount of kicks I start feeling like garbage...my hearing starts to diminish, I get all clammy and almost felt like I was going to pass out. I don't know if it was the heat in the room or the half a box of cookies that I had consumed that were now making me feel horrid but wow, I had to leave the room and get fresh air. Once I splashed some cold water on my face and sat for a few minutes I was golden but man I have never felt like that before...talk about epic fail for my first kickboxing class :(
Thankfully I was with a very understanding, fabulous friend who made me feel like less of a moron for almost biting it in the middle of the class...hahaha, that would have been comical.
At the end we felt great and were super proud of ourselves for doing it and we are pretty sure we are going to love it so it was a success!!! But ask me tomorrow if I still feel this way if I can't move my body ;)
Next week...more water, way, way less cookies (yikes!)
Wednesday, October 10, 2012
8 Years?? Really?? Wow!
Today is our wedding anniversary...sometimes it amazes me that it's already been 8 years and then on the other hand it's hard to believe that it's ONLY been 8 years!! We have been through so much and grown a lot together and as individuals that it's pretty fantastic!
How do we celebrate our special day this year?? Well, we couldn't get a sitter so we ate some grilled cheese and soup (I think Mike had beans and toast), Rachel and I went to order her birthday cake from Sobey's and we will put the kids to bed and watch NCIS...cause that's how we roll after 8 years of marriage, 3 kids and being exhausted after full days of work. Sounds pretty great to me!
How do we celebrate our special day this year?? Well, we couldn't get a sitter so we ate some grilled cheese and soup (I think Mike had beans and toast), Rachel and I went to order her birthday cake from Sobey's and we will put the kids to bed and watch NCIS...cause that's how we roll after 8 years of marriage, 3 kids and being exhausted after full days of work. Sounds pretty great to me!
Monday, October 8, 2012
Explanation
I have been wondering for the past little while if everyone reading this blog is saying to themselves or to others "why is she telling us all this personal stuff ?...why doesn't she just keep it to herself?..."
My first issue is that I need to stop caring or worrying about what other people think, feel or say about me...whether they like me or not, if they're mad at me, why we don't talk much anymore and so on...cause at the end of the day, I can't make people like me. All I can be is myself and if that isn't someone's cup of tea then that's ok...
The reason I have chosen to write down everything for people to read is because that's how I get through things...I talk about them, think about them...write them down. It's good for my brain space. If I get it out of there then it's less noisy and easier to deal with other things. I by no means want people to think that I am just looking for attention or that I feel like I am any different than anybody else walking through this crazy journey called LIFE, but you have all been an amazing support to me for the past 4.5 years or longer and I want to continue to be honest with each of you.
This honesty path I have taken for the past couple of months has been extremely hard for me because I am facing and acknowledging things that I have long since pushed aside, pretending that they don't matter. That tactic hasn't been working very well so it's time to be REAL. I have been told for so long that I am strong...even when I don't feel strong. But naturally I would tell myself that if people think that I'm strong, then it must be true and so it was hard for me to show moments of weakness. I am now realizing that even the strongest people can have the weakest moments...and that's ok too.
I write this blog so you all know what's going on, so you can maybe get a glimpse of why I may have acted a certain way or reacted differently somehow. Behind all of the sarcasm and jokes there is some stuff happening and it shouldn't be something that has to be hidden from people or kept quiet. Life can be tough for everyone, but it makes it way more bearable at times if you have someone to chat with that you can trust or vent to someone and know they are truly listening to you.
All of this definitely doesn't give me an excuse for my behaviour sometimes but I am working on it and I thank you all for your patience, your support and most importantly, for listening :)
WIP (Work In Progress)
My first issue is that I need to stop caring or worrying about what other people think, feel or say about me...whether they like me or not, if they're mad at me, why we don't talk much anymore and so on...cause at the end of the day, I can't make people like me. All I can be is myself and if that isn't someone's cup of tea then that's ok...
The reason I have chosen to write down everything for people to read is because that's how I get through things...I talk about them, think about them...write them down. It's good for my brain space. If I get it out of there then it's less noisy and easier to deal with other things. I by no means want people to think that I am just looking for attention or that I feel like I am any different than anybody else walking through this crazy journey called LIFE, but you have all been an amazing support to me for the past 4.5 years or longer and I want to continue to be honest with each of you.
This honesty path I have taken for the past couple of months has been extremely hard for me because I am facing and acknowledging things that I have long since pushed aside, pretending that they don't matter. That tactic hasn't been working very well so it's time to be REAL. I have been told for so long that I am strong...even when I don't feel strong. But naturally I would tell myself that if people think that I'm strong, then it must be true and so it was hard for me to show moments of weakness. I am now realizing that even the strongest people can have the weakest moments...and that's ok too.
I write this blog so you all know what's going on, so you can maybe get a glimpse of why I may have acted a certain way or reacted differently somehow. Behind all of the sarcasm and jokes there is some stuff happening and it shouldn't be something that has to be hidden from people or kept quiet. Life can be tough for everyone, but it makes it way more bearable at times if you have someone to chat with that you can trust or vent to someone and know they are truly listening to you.
All of this definitely doesn't give me an excuse for my behaviour sometimes but I am working on it and I thank you all for your patience, your support and most importantly, for listening :)
WIP (Work In Progress)
Saturday, October 6, 2012
Therapy - Round 2
This time around it was easier walking through the front door but I wasn't quite prepared for the emotions that came out just by filling out a "how messed up are you" questionairre (for a lack of a better term) and a brief overview of my life experiences up to this point...
You think you get over things or move past them, but then you are asked to explain life to people in pretty great detail and quickly realize that there are just certain things that happen to you in life that have messed you right up and even though you THINK you have come to terms with them....you haven't. I had a few of those moments this week with my counsellors and they came to the conclusion that these feelings have been accumulating for years now and the cancer was the straw that broke the camel's back so to speak.
How do we deal with this?? Who knows at this point, but they assured me that they will help me heal and also told me that even though people kept telling me to "get over it" and "let it go", I had EVERY RIGHT to be hanging on to certain feelings and resentments because I was and still am really hurt by people in my life that should have had my back. That would affect anyone. So although I am not excited about dealing with these parts of my life once again, I do admit that I have to face them and everyone who was involved and deal with it properly...because it's not just going to go away on it's own. I've been holding onto these feelings for so long now that I am looking forward to being free from them. What a weight that will be...
Therapy tidbit of the week: I was told that "Therapy will change me, which will in turn affect everyone around me. Sometimes these changes are positive for relationships and sometimes they aren't, depending on what you figure out about yourself and the people in your life."
I am looking forward to the change in me so I can be a better person and love myself...and hoping that any changes to my life relationships are all positive ones :)
Have a great Thanksgiving weekend everyone :)
You think you get over things or move past them, but then you are asked to explain life to people in pretty great detail and quickly realize that there are just certain things that happen to you in life that have messed you right up and even though you THINK you have come to terms with them....you haven't. I had a few of those moments this week with my counsellors and they came to the conclusion that these feelings have been accumulating for years now and the cancer was the straw that broke the camel's back so to speak.
How do we deal with this?? Who knows at this point, but they assured me that they will help me heal and also told me that even though people kept telling me to "get over it" and "let it go", I had EVERY RIGHT to be hanging on to certain feelings and resentments because I was and still am really hurt by people in my life that should have had my back. That would affect anyone. So although I am not excited about dealing with these parts of my life once again, I do admit that I have to face them and everyone who was involved and deal with it properly...because it's not just going to go away on it's own. I've been holding onto these feelings for so long now that I am looking forward to being free from them. What a weight that will be...
Therapy tidbit of the week: I was told that "Therapy will change me, which will in turn affect everyone around me. Sometimes these changes are positive for relationships and sometimes they aren't, depending on what you figure out about yourself and the people in your life."
I am looking forward to the change in me so I can be a better person and love myself...and hoping that any changes to my life relationships are all positive ones :)
Have a great Thanksgiving weekend everyone :)
Tuesday, October 2, 2012
Totally Getting this Fitness Thing
Today my fabulous friend Heather and I did a Zumba class. She was a Zumba virgin and I had only been a couple of times but we had a BLAST!! Once you get over the "I look like a moron" feeling, it turned out to be a great workout and we were sweating like crazy by the end of it!! We were definitely not coordinated enough to do some of the moves which involved shuffling feet to a rhythm, moving your arms to a rhythm and doing who else knows what, but we shall grow in time!! By the end of it we were the masters of the cha cha bum shuffle so we are going to adopt that as our signature move. We rocked it! LOL.
I am having so much fun with this fitness regime this time around...so far this week I did my run yesterday, Zumba today, run tomorrow (dressed warmly because BRRRRRR), and either another run on Thursday or a Total Body class at the gym!
Just wanted to share with you guys some of the stuff I have been up to and for the first time in a long time I am actually sticking to something...not just all talk! That's a great feeling!!
Next week marks our Anniversary/Rachel Birthday/Justin Bieber/My Birthday extravaganza but it is also the week that I start Kickboxing with my friend Meredith! Seriously ready to kick some butt. It's always something I've wanted to do so there's no time like the present :)
It's been a great week so far my friends, hoping for many more :)
I am having so much fun with this fitness regime this time around...so far this week I did my run yesterday, Zumba today, run tomorrow (dressed warmly because BRRRRRR), and either another run on Thursday or a Total Body class at the gym!
Just wanted to share with you guys some of the stuff I have been up to and for the first time in a long time I am actually sticking to something...not just all talk! That's a great feeling!!
Next week marks our Anniversary/Rachel Birthday/Justin Bieber/My Birthday extravaganza but it is also the week that I start Kickboxing with my friend Meredith! Seriously ready to kick some butt. It's always something I've wanted to do so there's no time like the present :)
It's been a great week so far my friends, hoping for many more :)
Sunday, September 30, 2012
Be Real Time
That was the theme of this past Friday. I had my first appointment with my counsellor through the Tom Baker Cancer Centre. He has his resident with him so I get to have two people analyze me throughout this process, but they are both really nice so it can't be a bad thing. Having extra professional help is always welcome ;)
It took every bit of strength in me to walk into that building but once I met them it was pretty easy going. It was mostly just a background of what I've been through up to this point, what state of mind I'm in now about it all and then we were done. I wasn't sure what to expect but he put my mind at ease when he said that he deals strictly with patients who have head and neck cancer, so he was familiar with my endocrinologist and knows my surgeon really well. (haha, MY surgeon...that's a strange thing to say...) He was also familiar with all of the parts of my neck that they had to disect and take out and the seriousness of my calcium deficiency after the first surgery, even all about the numbness I now have in my shoulder and neck...and they mentioned my upcoming birthday too so that was another plus for them..hahaha
Anyways, the first step has been taken and I am very glad I have started this journey. He validated everything I have been feeling and made me realize that even though I am still here, I have still been very traumatized by it all. He said that I have something called "Survivor's guilt" since I don't feel like I have a right to complain or be upset about my experience since many others don't have the luxury of being around 4 years after their cancer diagnosis. The words "Intense Psychotherapy" were mentioned so it's probably a good thing I'm there chatting with them...!!! I might also have to talk to my cancer doctor about my dose of Synthroid since he said that sometimes if the dose isn't right (regardless if my bloodwork comes back "within the right levels") it can mimic depression...pretty much to a T...hmmmmm, interesting...
I had a very, very emotional and real day and I was exhausted when it finally came to an end...but it's needed.
I go back this Friday for another hour and take the next step...chatting away, chatting through it all!! I'll keep you posted!
It took every bit of strength in me to walk into that building but once I met them it was pretty easy going. It was mostly just a background of what I've been through up to this point, what state of mind I'm in now about it all and then we were done. I wasn't sure what to expect but he put my mind at ease when he said that he deals strictly with patients who have head and neck cancer, so he was familiar with my endocrinologist and knows my surgeon really well. (haha, MY surgeon...that's a strange thing to say...) He was also familiar with all of the parts of my neck that they had to disect and take out and the seriousness of my calcium deficiency after the first surgery, even all about the numbness I now have in my shoulder and neck...and they mentioned my upcoming birthday too so that was another plus for them..hahaha
Anyways, the first step has been taken and I am very glad I have started this journey. He validated everything I have been feeling and made me realize that even though I am still here, I have still been very traumatized by it all. He said that I have something called "Survivor's guilt" since I don't feel like I have a right to complain or be upset about my experience since many others don't have the luxury of being around 4 years after their cancer diagnosis. The words "Intense Psychotherapy" were mentioned so it's probably a good thing I'm there chatting with them...!!! I might also have to talk to my cancer doctor about my dose of Synthroid since he said that sometimes if the dose isn't right (regardless if my bloodwork comes back "within the right levels") it can mimic depression...pretty much to a T...hmmmmm, interesting...
I had a very, very emotional and real day and I was exhausted when it finally came to an end...but it's needed.
I go back this Friday for another hour and take the next step...chatting away, chatting through it all!! I'll keep you posted!
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