Next...

So what does one do with all that information?? I am going to be completely honest with you and say PRAY (after I googled the heck out of thyroid cancer)!! You pray and you pray and you pray...I don't care what anyone believes in, when your world is crumbling around you, it's amazing how you immediately call out to God to help you! The amazing sense of relief is unbelievable! Not immediate, but eventually it was like a suffocating weight was lifted off of me.

I am a Christian, definitely not the best one at times but I have my good moments and bad. I didn't know who else to turn to and was lead to just talk to Him. I found a book online called Praying Through Cancer and walked to the book store on one of my lunch hours to pick it up. There was only one copy left. It's an amazing book written by women who have been through all types of cancer and they GOT what I was going through. All the pains, frustrations, emotions, feelings...it was nice to read and know that I wasn't alone.

The stats of this cancer are really very promising but if I had to hear anyone say, well if you were to pick a cancer off the list, this would be the one I was going to SCREAM! Cancer SUCKS no matter what kind it is!!

I learned very quickly that there's something called TOO MUCH INFORMATION! So I vowed to myself NOT to google anymore and just make it through this journey without all the statistics and scenarios of things that may or may not happen. That is enough to drive you INSANE!!

I had to focus on my family and my pregnancy and keep as positive as possible. I had to try not to let the cancer define me and who I was. I needed to enjoy every moment with my kids, husband and this new little man inside me. Every time I looked at my children or watched them play I would cry. I couldn't imagine not being here to see them go through life.

So, what was the next step? Because I was so far along in my pregnancy, it was no longer safe to operate on me so I had no choice but to wait until he was born. Trust me, the thought of this nasty tumor growing in me for another 4 months was an absolute nightmare, but I had to push the cancer to the back burner of my brain and live my life, as normally as I could. I could not let it consume me!!! So, they scheduled a c-section for me so that my cancer team to already have me booked for my thyroidectomy.

November 24th, 2008...surgery day booked!