Wednesday, December 23, 2009


Hello my old seems like FOREVER since I've been on here...and to tell you the honest truth, I can feel it! I mean when I first started this blog I didn't really think it would change me in any way. In my mind I was just telling my story, but wow, I now realize after being MIA for a while that I need to be doing this, for my sanity!! It's weird because I usually HATE talking about my cancer because it makes it TOO REAL. I would much rather just breeze through life acting like nothing ever happened and never speak of it again...but I know that's not healthy. It DID happen and I NEED to have feelings about it and I need to get them out.

So, this is me just touching base. I have been at work for the past 3 weeks and it has been INSANE to say the least!! Everyone seems to be adjusting well. Rachel is having the hardest time but thankfully they all LOVE our nanny so that makes it so much easier! We are blessed to have such a wonderful addition to our family in our nanny! It's like she's been here for so much longer than 3 weeks!!

Lucky you guys, you get to read my ramblings a little while longer....bwahahahaha!! Most of the time I think I'm just boring everyone that reads this which has resulted in many many internal dialogues about whether I just fill you all in from this point forward or go back and give you all the details of this crazy journey. The more I tried to convince myself to just ignore what I haven't shared with you, the more I realized that I still have to lay out all the items, boring or not. I have a TON of feelings I am still trying to sort through and I won't move past this if I'm not honest with myself about what's happened, so YOU, you fortunate bunch, get to hear (or read) it all...

But right now I have to wrap more presents...LOL...I'm seriously running out of time!!