Wednesday, November 23, 2011

Random emotional thought day

This is the place where I can just open up and talk right? was an interesting day and turned out to be a very emotionally draining day and I didn't even realize it happened until about 10 minutes ago when my body just decided ENOUGH and it seems to be forcing me into an early bedtime (which is so not like me).

Nothing earth shattering happened, just little things all day that all ended up in the dreaded CANCER word. First thing this morning as I boarded the elevator at work I overheard some women talking about how one lady's daughter's best friend's mom died yesterday morning of cancer......I can't even describe to you the disgusting, sinking feeling I felt hearing this. They then get off the elevator and carry on with their day....and so do I.

An hour or so later one of the lovely lawyers I work with gets an e-mail from her mom saying that a close family friend died of cancer earlier this week....ugh...when will this stop???

Lunch time comes and today is the monthly dim sum outing with a few of my co-workers...always a great time. Towards the end of lunch we get into the conversation guessed it...CANCER...don't even know how that happened but we heard a story of a co-worker's journey through cancer when his Dad died from it 7 years ago. I have known this co-worker for the past 7.5 years and I have never heard the actual story behind it because no one ever wants to bring it up obviously...I wanted to cry just re-living it with him as he spoke...I asked him what kind of state of mind his Dad was in when he got the news that his cancer was terminal and he said about 2 weeks afterwards he asked to go outside and for the first time in his life he sat there and REALLY saw everything...he focused on birds, trees, sounds, smells, every little detail...

I then shared the story of my amazing friend Tracy who died 11 years ago at 23 years of age and how that affected my entire life...another co-worker shared how her Dad died of cancer when he was 32 years old and she was only 4...the only memory she has of him is him screaming in is this right?? None of this makes sense...

...emotional to say the least...when is this all going to end? Why can we spend so much time and money on ridiculous things in life like that darn "Peace" bridge (don't even get me started on that stupid piece of junk) or conducting studies on if women prefer facial hair on their men or not, and can't put all of those millions into finding a cure for even ONE of these cancers...just start with ONE!!!

Thanks for listening...

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