We all know that Mondays are usually one of the most trying days of the week and we would all rather throw our alarm clocks against the wall and hide under our covers all day long!! But we muddle through and anxiously wait for Tuesday to arrive so we can say goodbye to our brutal Monday! At least that's how I feel most Mondays...it just feels like I am walking around in a daze where there's so much happening that I don't even remotely know where to begin.
Well, my whole WEEK has been like that so far...and it's only half way done!! Good times, good times!! So, I'm really really hoping that tomorrow can actually feel like my Tuesday and not my 4th Monday!! :)
I got a phone call today from the Tom Baker cancer centre to do my last check up survey. i'm supposed to be filling them out online but since I still have major moments of just wanting to ignore all things cancer related and carry on with my life, I opt out of providing them with any feedback! Well, they called me today! So I answer all of their questions and try to get through the survey as quick as possible...I don't know if this is healthy or not but I do it anyway...makes me feel better. I just want to get on with my life!!!!!! Cancer has already taken so much away from me that I just want to push past it! They ask you questions about being depressed or anxious about anything and I can honestly say that no, I haven't felt any of that for a while now, but I am always kinda looking over my shoulder waiting for the ball to drop!! My sense of security is gone now, I just need to find a way of dealing with that. Anyone who has known me for any length of time knows that I've always hated dealing with doctors. I never really knew why this was but now I realize it's because they are the ones that tell you bad things! You could be walking into their office for a routine checkup, you're feeling well and BAM! they have one little conversation with you and everything starts spinning around!! Now I have a whole bunch of them that I need to check in with for a very long time coming...is that karma?
Well that's my rambling for the night...!!