Saturday, October 6, 2012

Therapy - Round 2

This time around it was easier walking through the front door but I wasn't quite prepared for the emotions that came out just by filling out a "how messed up are you" questionairre (for a lack of a better term) and a brief overview of my life experiences up to this point...

You think you get over things or move past them, but then you are asked to explain life to people in pretty great detail and quickly realize that there are just certain things that happen to you in life that have messed you right up and even though you THINK you have come to terms with haven't. I had a few of those moments this week with my counsellors and they came to the conclusion that these feelings have been accumulating for years now and the cancer was the straw that broke the camel's back so to speak.

How do we deal with this?? Who knows at this point, but they assured me that they will help me heal and also told me that even though people kept telling me to "get over it" and "let it go", I had EVERY RIGHT to be hanging on to certain feelings and resentments because I was and still am really hurt by people in my life that should have had my back. That would affect anyone. So although I am not excited about dealing with these parts of my life once again, I do admit that I have to face them and everyone who was involved and deal with it properly...because it's not just going to go away on it's own. I've been holding onto these feelings for so long now that I am looking forward to being free from them. What a weight that will be...

Therapy tidbit of the week: I was told that "Therapy will change me, which will in turn affect everyone around me. Sometimes these changes are positive for relationships and sometimes they aren't, depending on what you figure out about yourself and the people in your life."

I am looking forward to the change in me so I can be a better person and love myself...and hoping that any changes to my life relationships are all positive ones :)

Have a great Thanksgiving weekend everyone :)

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