As I sit here and reflect on what I have been going through the past little bit, I came to the realization that for the FIRST time in my life I actually feel in control of my eating and exercise!!! I used to listen to people say "oh, exercise is just a part of my routine"...BLAHHHH!! I didn't buy it! Quite a few years ago I used to run on a regular basis...but I didn't enjoy it! Not like the people I used to run with in the run clubs...they seriously enjoyed every single step. I was so not that person. Every step was work...hard work! Every km felt like FOREVER!! Then if I didn't see the results pretty much instantly I gave up. What was the point in doing something you hated to do and not get what I wanted out of it??
A few months ago I was sent a letter from a doctor that was conducting a study on young cancer survivors and the effect exercise has on their recovery, state of mind and if it has anything to do with recurrence. I chose to become part of the study and have to fill out a questionnaire every couple months that evaluates my exercise levels on a daily basis and state of mind and how I am dealing with everything (working on that ;). At work we also decided to join the Global Corporate Challenge and strap on pedometers and record our daily steps every single day for a few months. It really did seem like the perfect time to get serious about getting healthy!
I'm not quite sure what changed in me to give me the motivation this time around (because we ALL know that I've been down this road many times before)...maybe it was finally just saying to myself that I CAN be as healthy and active as I truly want and need to be...not just being "OK" with how I look and feel...maybe it was my amazing support system around me, especially the lovely ladies I work with. They have been my rocks lately...each one has given me the strength and courage to achieve very individual things and I am so extremely thankful for them. Perhaps it was the fact that every time I think it's a good idea to fill my face with an entire bag of chips it makes me feel horrible...not just the guilt, but it actually makes me feel ill and that is not a fabulous feeling! It definitely doesn't mean that I don't eat junk at all...let's get real! But I do know how to limit the amount I do eat.
It was probably a combination of all of the above but I am FINALLY at the point where I look forward to my runs at lunch (almost crave them) and I just can't wait to get out there. If I ever do have those days where I "don't have the time" my friend Colleen is on me convincing me to just get out there and do it because I will feel like a million bucks when it's over...and she's always right...every single time! I enjoy the company, the fresh air, the atmosphere, love it all!
I have managed to slowly become one of those people who has just made exercise a part of my day...every day! I never thought I would get there but I'm ecstatic that I am finally happy with how I feel and how I'm starting to look...the next challenge is to NOT focus solely on the number on the scale but the actual inches I am losing and the muscle I am building. But the temptation to look at the number each morning is a hard habit to break...but progress is progress my friends!
Thanks for stopping by :)