The night before any type of test, procedure, treatment or even follow up appointment I get that uneasy feeling in my stomach and don't rest and can't seem to turn my mind off. Mike now knows the routine of me not eating in the morning of the appointment and pretty much not talking the entire way to the hospital...it's just how I roll.
A very wise person once told me that I need to wake up each morning and get used to my new "normal", but I guess I still need to work on that, because each time one of these "routine" events happen, I still fight with myself to just get there.
This morning was my body scan. I check into the nuclear medicine department at the Foothills hospital and wait for them to call my name. Thankfully Mike was able to come with me. Just knowing that I have someone in the waiting room for me afterwards makes a world of difference. So, I go in, lay on the bed and lie very still for about 35 minutes while this big camera goes over me from head to toe compiling a picture of my body in little tiny dots.
Of course they can't tell me anything so I get off the bed, they go and check to make sure there's nothing else they need to take a closer look at and then I'm on my way. Thankfully they gave me the go ahead without having to take any more pics so I take that as a good sign!!
The radioactive measurement man then came in and had to see how radioactive I still was and if I could go home to my children. He was actually very surprised that I had gotten rid of so much of it out of my system already. He then informed me that our children are actually exposed to 1000 times more radiation than I was putting off just by living in Calgary for a year...interesting...along with kinda disturbing.
The bottom line...IF I did go home to my kids then I would have to make sure that they don't lay on me to watch TV or anything for a long period of time and under no circumstances can any of them crawl into bed with us in the middle of the night and stay there...unless they slept with Mike in between so that he could absorb any of the radiation I may be putting off...LOL..lucky guy eh? He also said not to withhold any affection if they need me, but don't go looking for it from them or encourage it for another 5 days or so...hmmm???
Ok, so now we are faced with a decision. I was seriously torn because of the above issues and who knows how they are going to react when I walk in the door. They may just want a quick hug and then carry on with their day, or they could want me to hold them for 2 hours straight snuggling right up to me which was a NO NO!! But with me going back to work in 6 days I really want and need to spend as much time with them as I can.
Decision...decided to stay away another night, get a decent night's sleep and go back home around noon and just deal with it as it comes. I may not be able to cuddle them for hours on end, but at least they will be near me and I near them! They are resilient little beings that's for sure and have handled the past 8 days like troopers!!
THANK YOU to everyone who has banded together to help us out during this. Of course my wonderful mother in law Deb has been amazing as always and has never hesitated to drop things and pretty much halt her entire life to give us a hand. We are forever indebted to this fantastic lady and love her more than we could possibly express!!
All of the friends and family that have offered meals and babysitting...your kindness will never ever be forgotten and you are so very appreciated!
Thanks to all of my visitors and my SIDEKICKS...you have made being radioactive way more tolerable simply by being around me. Love you all so much...even if you don't feel the happy vibes all the time!! You all didn't have to do the things you did but I am so thankful for the love and the laughter!
Tomorrow...I GET TO SEE MY FAMILY!!!!!!! WHOOOOO HOOOOOO!!!